balance

One of the things I have often struggled with is the balancing of the passion of my heart with the reasoning and logic of my head. 

Which one is the correct one to follow?

Often one will pull more than the other, as though I am in the middle of a balancing act walking through my life. When they are in balance I am able to walk straight and with confidence. When I allow one or the other to pull unreasonably I can veer off in the wrong direction and fall off my path.
      

Rather like a tightrope act finding the right balance in life! I had to paint it...

oh how exciting!

One of my prints got added to an Etsy 'Hidden Treasures' page! Jumping around in excitement!!!

http://www.etsy.com/treasury/4c9ff38deb1e6d91e39274ec/nautical-pounce-cn-treasury-challenge?index=0

I am torn between painting all the ideas thrumming in my veins and getting more of my paintings up on Etsy ... A sunny day pulls me to my hideaway studio - an idea wakes me in the middle of the night calling out to be painted! After so many years of pushing pixels behind a screen it takes an enormous amount of discipline to do the computer bits.

Oh my heart is singing. I am having a wonderful time. How delicious is life when one creates the space to follow ones heart! (lucky I painted 'Faith'!!)

the creative journey

So here is my triptych of a journey...

First, the idea. 

                Then the leap of faith to bring it to reality.

                                                         And thence the flight into completion.

'May the road rise to meet you,
          May the wind be always at your back.'

           

                                                               Irish Blessing 

hearing myself again

On this journey of painting and drawing and sketching and dreaming furiously I have been listening to myself intently.

There is the inner me who dreams and the outer me who puts it into action and creates. The inner me is braver and wilder than the outer... with her anything is possible and where all my creative leaps of faith begin.

This feeling of listening to myself made such a powerful impression on me that one evening that I had to sketch it out.

It has felt as though I have come out of a deep forest into the light and am able to see my reflection again.

So here is a painting which I hope will inspire others to stir their deep well of creativity and see what emerges...

i can fly

As I sat looking at my finished 'Faith' painting I realised that she needed a companion to describe what happens after the leap ... and so I painted 'Fly'.

I wanted her to by flying amongst the stars, each one representing another limitless possibility. No longer blindfolded, she is looking calmly into her future.

A close friend of  mine always used to say 'take the step, the ground may be closer than you think'.  I ruminated that often the fear of the unknown, my imaginary dreads, are greater than the unknown itself.

Each of these paintings has about 20 attempts behind them to get them feeling right! Watercolour is so challenging. One little mistake and it's all in the bin - there is no undo button and I am often bamboozled. How ironic that I am encouraging myself to be fearless with this painting and even in the technique I must practise this!

So here is my reminder to 'Fly', in fearless serenity, blindfold shed and fluttering away.

'one day'...

Many many moons ago I was lured away from my art by the pull of bright lights and overseas adventures. For as long as I can remember I have been saying 'one day when I get a studio'...

... then, one day, I got a studio.

And I had to put my money where my mouth was. In a deluge, all of the ideas I had promised to finish baking 'one day' came flying at me. In the downpour I stared into the limitless expanse that is creativity and felt a little afraid. What would I paint? Could I paint anymore?

In a daydream I saw myself poised on the edge of a cliff, blindfolded, about to step off. Not knowing what the future held once I took the first step, trusting that something would catch me as I flew or fell. The feeling I always get when I am about to make a big change in my life. Taking a leap of faith, I was stepping out into the great unknown of my future. 

I knew I had to paint this feeling, to make a visual concrete reminder to myself that would help me should I falter - to give me courage, creativity and fierceness as I uncovered my old talents. 

And so I painted 'Faith'. 

I painted her 20 times until she felt right. Rusty skills becoming cleaner with each use, tears of frustration mingling with the paints. 

'One day' I breathed a sigh of contentment - she was done!

As I continued in my new artistic adventure, I listened to my friends and the women around me talking. I saw many of them teetering on the brink of making big changes, taking great leaps into the grand adventure of their lives. They kept reminding me of my painting. And so I plucked up my courage and decided to share 'Faith' with the world.

I went and bought an archival printer, some gorgeous inks and the most delicious paper I could find. I took a deep breath, pressed the print button and flew!

Now I am ready to send this painting out to the world...  Tonight I begin with my first art exhibition - through the smile of grace - shared with other creatives in Soho this evening. Women in the creative industry baring our souls and showing what is underneath our normal work. I am hoping people will see what I am trying to express. 

My next step is to set up a website and offer 'Faith' as a print... Working on it!

'faith'

This is my painting of what it feels like to take a leap of faith into the future...

this journey

And this creation is a journey into the unknown parts of my soul

And that is what holds me back.

The unknown.

Rather than allowing the passion of my soul to push me forward.

I hesitate.

Afraid of where this path of uncommon steps may lead…

My talent takes me to the cliff edge

But it is I who must choose to jump

Into creation.

I do not know where it may take me.

It can be frightening, these swirling mists of creativity

Waiting to be deciphered, calling out to be heard.

It leads me to a place that no one else can go.

It is I, solitary, at the cliff’s edge.

Contemplating the leap.

Alone.

     And yet …

                 …replete with abundance.

This colourful world.

My soul.

The rainbows of my imagination

Are my communion with Life.  My expression of humanity.

They are my response to the world.

I want to take them deep within me

Re-capture them and then fling them back out in joy.

I am not truly alone here.  I am surrounded by many jewels.

It is the knowing of which one to pluck.

And the courage to follow the journey to its completion.

And so I leap into the unknown and discover

  

 I

           

        Can

                      Fly

                                             Tara Winona   -  Copyright 2010